1 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,300 Every year, in April... 2 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:41,800 ...the settlement took place of new hires in the mega-firm. 3 00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:44,910 They were the fruit of a ruthless selection... 4 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,420 ...based on recommendations, threats, blackmail... 5 00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:51,530 ...and physical elimination of potential competitors. 6 00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:54,640 They were welcomed, initiated and incited... 7 00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:57,750 ...by the Grand Director. Rascal. Lup. Man... 8 00:01:57,870 --> 00:02:00,860 ...Pieces. of Merd. Doctor Barambani. 9 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:06,630 Remember, children, to always be dishonest... 10 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,260 ...of being disloyal to colleagues... 11 00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:16,090 ...not to practice friendships disinterested... 12 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:19,990 ...but use blackmail... 13 00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:23,130 ...the "butt licking"... 14 00:02:23,270 --> 00:02:27,010 ...and often practice denunciation. 15 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:32,270 Only in this way will you be able to rise... 16 00:02:32,390 --> 00:02:35,610 ...at the highest corporate levels. 17 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:41,400 If you don't follow these golden rules... 18 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,500 ...this is what your destiny will be. 19 00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:52,830 Puppets! 20 00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:01,240 Ouch! 21 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,740 Fantozzi, retired, he was employed by the mega-firm... 22 00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:11,870 ...just for these occasional demonstrations. 23 00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:25,510 How many years Is he employed by us? 24 00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:30,170 - I have always been an employee congenital. - How did it start? 25 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:35,400 As a doormat, with the words "Hello" tattooed on his back. 26 00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:42,010 - Has he ever done anything to deserve better? - No. 27 00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:47,110 - Has he ever prostituted himself to make a career? - No. 28 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:52,140 Not even blackmail? 29 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,590 A spy? 30 00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:01,850 A scrap of anonymous letter? 31 00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:09,740 No, sorry, once I wrote one too. 32 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:15,890 - And what did he get? - I am almost been crucified in the mess hall. 33 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:20,430 - Why? - I signed it by mistake. 34 00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:29,190 So what are you, Fantocci? Tell these guys. 35 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:33,580 - What do I say? - She's a me... 36 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,120 A... A jellyfish, right? 37 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,470 She's a shit... 38 00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:43,460 Meringue! 39 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:48,170 Don't make me angry, declare your status! 40 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:51,080 She's a shit... 41 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:59,560 - She's a shit... - Bullshit! 42 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,920 Holy shit! Holy shit! 43 00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:19,480 I'm a piece of shit! 44 00:05:19,810 --> 00:05:23,170 I'm a piece of shit! Bullshit! 45 00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:23,840 - Pina! Pina! - Ugo, what are you doing? 46 00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:26,960 I'm a piece of shit, pull the chain. 47 00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:30,070 An opportunity for redemption it came to him from someone... 48 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:35,060 ...from which he did not expect any satisfaction, granddaughter Uga. 49 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:39,570 On Fridays, after school of dance, he took her to his house... 50 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:44,080 ...leaving the daughter free Mariangela and her son-in-law Bongo. 51 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,760 I'm closing. 52 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,150 Elbow, one and two. 53 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,100 Right, I open. 54 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:56,180 And come on, the other one. 55 00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:59,330 I open it and put on the dress. 56 00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:10,900 Are you a grandfather? 57 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:15,130 - What's yours? - Mine is the one... 58 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:18,240 The one with the white bow. 59 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:23,360 - What does he say? That's my niece. - Ah, it's his! 60 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:28,750 Well, but like that with the tutu they look alike... all of them. 61 00:07:29,150 --> 00:07:32,290 Not all of them, look at that toad! 62 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:37,210 It's really a toad! 63 00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:40,590 A little scrawl! 64 00:07:44,190 --> 00:07:45,780 HI. 65 00:07:45,910 --> 00:07:48,970 - So this is your niece. - No. 66 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,090 - Grandpa! - He called her "grandfather". 67 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,200 - He said "no, no". - Ah, "no, no"! 68 00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:57,520 Ninth! 69 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,340 She's not my baby. 70 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:15,260 Grandpa, I'm hot. 71 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:19,440 But it's a very cold day, very cold. 72 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:27,410 Look at that! 73 00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:33,390 - Listen, what! - Look what you've done. Let's go away. 74 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,970 Look, where are you going? 75 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,480 Say. 76 00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:47,050 Help! 77 00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:51,070 Help! 78 00:08:53,510 --> 00:08:55,890 - Where is he? - Who? 79 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:59,240 The little girl, the dancer, that thing! 80 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,590 It's my niece, Ughina. 81 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:06,490 It's due... 82 00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:08,640 Who is he? 83 00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:13,140 - Your little girl is beautiful. - She's strong! 84 00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:16,250 Come Monday with that thing in Cinecittà. 85 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:22,110 Yes, Uga is a beautiful little girl. But even being an actress! 86 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:26,010 Pina, I didn't think at all... What is it? 87 00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:29,360 - Cold rice minestrone. - Yes, yesterday's rice! 88 00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:35,060 Two experts told me that the little girl is beautiful and vigorous. 89 00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:38,560 - What did they say? - I am beautiful and strong. 90 00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:42,670 It won't be like Shirley Temple, Goldilocks, though, is a guy. 91 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:46,770 Do you remember Arnold? The black man who was an actor. 92 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,160 They said he was a dwarf... 93 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,260 ...and then it became an international star. 94 00:09:53,390 --> 00:09:57,970 - Ugo, that's a monster. - Yes, and our granddaughter is not a... 95 00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,280 No? 96 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:06,450 It will also be a problem for the school, he has already repeated the first one twice. 97 00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:09,960 There is danger in cinema let the little girl go to her head. 98 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:15,060 Pina, all my life I would like to get my head straight. 99 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,880 Rice minestrone. 100 00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:20,000 Bullshit! 101 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,890 I want the little girl to have everything I didn't have. 102 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:29,320 - What didn't you have, Ugo? - All! 103 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,740 I mean, nothing. I've never had it nothing from life. 104 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:37,850 Instead, if this thing it was fine... 105 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:43,660 ...I could become his agent, completely change your life... 106 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:47,850 ...handle money, luxury cars, actresses! 107 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:51,950 However, the child is not ours. Now I'll call the mother. 108 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,020 If she agrees, the thing is done. 109 00:10:55,140 --> 00:11:00,360 Of course, I'm happy. Me too I have always dreamed of being an actress. 110 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,550 Shut up for a moment! 111 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:05,650 I can't hear well, Ughetta is making noise. 112 00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:12,350 I'm leaving you now, let's go to dinner at Baobab. 113 00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:15,660 How is Ughina? Hello, dad. 114 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:21,910 Fantozzi began to get busy for the audition. 115 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,730 Voila! Saracinesca model. 116 00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:27,730 Voila! 117 00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:33,940 - How am I, grandfather? - But not like that you can see my little girl's face. 118 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,290 Better! 119 00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:38,400 How better? But what does he say? 120 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,580 Maybe it's better. 121 00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:49,920 Excuse me, I'm a little worried. It's an important thing. 122 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,620 - Don't be worried. - This photo changes my life. 123 00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:57,930 - Did you understand? It's like going out from a tunnel. - Certain. 124 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,640 Do it well. 125 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:07,050 - Excuse me a moment. What is this? - It's a Polaroid for testing. 126 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:10,590 - Stop. - I'm very worried. 127 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,020 Smile. 128 00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:20,240 - What happened? - I do not know. 129 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,340 He did... It's as if he had spit... 130 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:27,830 It's as if he wanted to give a judgment on the little girl. 131 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,110 The little girls on this side, good parents there. 132 00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,660 Come on, quick. 133 00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:02,770 Doctor, come. 134 00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:06,850 Not this one, not this one, not this one... 135 00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,280 ...not this one... 136 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:12,530 ...not this one... Here it is, it's her! 137 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:15,960 The other girls away, quickly. 138 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:20,150 Come with us, try on the dress and read the script. 139 00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:25,340 Are you the parents of that thing? 140 00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:28,540 - Ugo! - Help me. 141 00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:32,610 It's me! 142 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:36,090 Wait, I'm the grandfather! 143 00:13:36,210 --> 00:13:38,600 I'm the grandfather. 144 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,600 I'm the little girl's grandfather! 145 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,470 She signs the contract for the minority... for the minor? 146 00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:50,580 Of course, I'm his manager. Excuse me for a moment. 147 00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:54,570 - Here I am, if you want to make me... - What do they do to you? 148 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,690 - They are the photographers. - Come on, sign. 149 00:13:57,820 --> 00:14:02,800 - No, I don't sign anything in the dark. - Let's go over there, there's more light. 150 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,390 - Turn it on. - Ma'am, what are you doing there? Out! 151 00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:19,900 - But in what capacity? - As grandfather of the first actress. 152 00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:22,820 Before the titles it could... 153 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:27,130 Okay, then in a box he writes to us with stars... 154 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:31,440 ..."The actress's grandfather is the accountant Ugo Fantozzi." 155 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:36,790 All right, Mr. Fantocci. So much with her niece we save on makeup. 156 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:42,110 - And then you don't need a stunt double for dangerous scenes. - How? 157 00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:46,610 - Does he have to do something dangerous? - Why? Do you want it back? 158 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,330 Isn't it worth losing? 159 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,840 But you have to write "accountant Ugo Fantozzi..." 160 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:58,760 Ugo, let's start, come. 161 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,320 Let's start. 162 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,430 What is this film called? 163 00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:07,380 "Planet of the Apes 5", before. 164 00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:12,930 The Planet of... Is it part of a series? 165 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:17,130 - Mom, I'm hungry. - Of course, my love. 166 00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,960 Aaahh! 167 00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:23,470 What happened? 168 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:28,590 Ugo, our niece he must play the part of a monkey! 169 00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:32,340 No, our monkey... I mean, I meant... 170 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:36,250 But which monkey? She is the daughter of a monkey. 171 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:41,580 The father is an American astronaut. So she is a cross, a hybrid. 172 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,870 I'm hungry, mom. 173 00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:57,660 - Come, Ughetta. - What is he doing? 174 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,380 How dare you? 175 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:08,370 - What does he do? - My wife had an attack of racism. Wait. 176 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:11,290 Pina, I'm calling Animal Protection. 177 00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,400 One moment. 178 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:20,870 Pina, maybe for once that I can become someone... 179 00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:26,020 ...are you clipping my wings? - You want to become someone on the little girl's skin! 180 00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,770 The skin... 181 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:38,600 - Why is grandma crying? - Well, grandma is crying because... 182 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:42,990 ...I don't want it anymore that you do that part. 183 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:48,550 - But wasn't I strong? - No, you are very strong. 184 00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:53,660 As that gentleman said. In fact, you were perfect for that part! 185 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:59,330 In short, he did it well. 186 00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:04,720 And then I prefer it that you remain a normal child. 187 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,150 Alright, give it a shot... Give your grandmother your hand. 188 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,540 But another occasion of redemption... 189 00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:27,640 ...was waiting for him in ambush in the letterbox. 190 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:40,830 Permission? Excuse me. 191 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,740 Pina! 192 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:47,060 Pina! 193 00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:54,800 Foreman Paoletti, at cash desk number 7. 194 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,790 Foreman Paoletti, at cash desk number 7. 195 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,510 I... 196 00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:06,540 - Foreman... - Sorry. 197 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:10,050 Pina, I have an announcement important to you. 198 00:18:10,180 --> 00:18:13,460 Your husband has been nominated popular judge. 199 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:16,770 Pina, you are the wife of a popular judge! 200 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:23,600 This is a process against mafia killers... 201 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,430 ...people who were capable to kill children. 202 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:33,540 - Ugo, it may be imprudent. - AND the prudence that screws this country. 203 00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:37,020 This is a country of honest people. 204 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,860 Come on, I'll give you a hand. 205 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,440 So... 206 00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:45,560 Sorry, ma'am, do you know where the bald ones are? 207 00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:02,570 Who's seen any baldheads? 208 00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,970 I mean, I meant, not gods... 209 00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:12,080 Goodbye! 210 00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:16,510 It's dangerous, Ugo. This is a mafia trial. 211 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,030 Yes, it's dangerous. 212 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:24,220 But it's better than this "flatness" where nothing ever happens. 213 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,650 But damn... 214 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,800 Ouch! 215 00:19:36,850 --> 00:19:39,040 What... Where? 216 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,430 Ah, here it is. 217 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,870 Now I'll put everything back. 218 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,590 - Ugo! - Hey! 219 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,030 Stopped! 220 00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:51,540 Ugo! 221 00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:55,060 Hey, stop! 222 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,860 Good morning. Excuse me, where is the judges' room? 223 00:20:13,590 --> 00:20:15,780 Damn Ugo. 224 00:20:16,670 --> 00:20:19,460 Go, all that was missing was her. 225 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:25,370 - But how did he get it? - As a popular judge. 226 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:28,760 Fantozzi clothing: magistrate's robe... 227 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:32,870 ...obtained from Pina by an old man grandmother's widow's dress... 228 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,390 ...English judge's wig made with mattress wool... 229 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,710 ...double pan scale loaned from the herbalist's shop on the corner... 230 00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:42,820 ...meat tenderizer mallet. 231 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,930 - Go up with the others. - What is this? 232 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:52,960 Excuse me, how should I put it? As Miss Italy or as Mayor? 233 00:20:55,370 --> 00:21:01,230 Colleagues, on behalf of the State here we are called to represent... 234 00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:07,900 ...today that the powers of the mafia they are getting stronger... 235 00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:11,010 ...only joint commitment and supportive... 236 00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:15,130 ...can redeem justice from his defeats. 237 00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:22,440 So I invite you to a town hall principle of severity and rigor. 238 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,360 We agree, right? 239 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:33,340 - What do you do? Come in or not come in? - No, if... 240 00:21:33,470 --> 00:21:37,170 - Please sit down. - Where do I sit? 241 00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:40,290 These are his colleagues. 242 00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:44,530 - Happy. - Very happy. - Pleasure. 243 00:21:45,450 --> 00:21:48,440 Nice to meet you, but in the name of the law... 244 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,230 ...I'll let you know which is my firm intention... 245 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:57,060 ...make the mafia find something to match your teeth! 246 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:59,180 In the classroom! 247 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:03,170 We have to go. 248 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,270 Let's start the hearing. 249 00:22:32,770 --> 00:22:34,760 The defendants. 250 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,310 Come on, inside! 251 00:22:47,870 --> 00:22:49,860 Shut up! 252 00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:56,730 Good! 253 00:22:59,810 --> 00:23:03,080 Chancellor, read the charges. 254 00:23:03,210 --> 00:23:08,030 “They appear before this court Trinacria Vito, known as Cannamozza..." 255 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,830 "...Rinaldia Saro, known as Carognone..." 256 00:23:10,950 --> 00:23:13,940 "...Messina Alfio, called Stupraminchia..." 257 00:23:14,070 --> 00:23:17,610 "...Messina Salvatore, aka Ammazzamamma." 258 00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:22,170 "They are accused of: association to mafia-style crimes..." 259 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:27,280 "..Carnal violence, massacres, torture, killings, cannibalism..." 260 00:23:27,410 --> 00:23:30,200 "..And so on and so forth." 261 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,310 Did you hear? 262 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,550 He said "cannibalism"! 263 00:23:37,670 --> 00:23:40,470 Don't be intimidated. 264 00:23:52,010 --> 00:23:53,600 But... 265 00:24:13,860 --> 00:24:15,450 Pina. 266 00:24:16,050 --> 00:24:18,640 Pina, where are you? 267 00:24:18,770 --> 00:24:23,550 Did you see how wonderful it was? There is also the Sicilian cart. 268 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:29,270 - They said they were gifts. - Who sends them? - Here's the ticket. 269 00:24:32,910 --> 00:24:39,290 "Please, Judge Fantozzo, these products of our beautiful Sicily." 270 00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:42,800 - "Signed, a group of friends." - What are you laughing at, Pina? 271 00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:46,120 This is corruption! 272 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,550 They have the wrong address! Help me, Pina. 273 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,750 Judge Fantozzi you can't even buy it... 274 00:24:53,870 --> 00:24:59,460 ...if they send them home Etna wrapped! Do you understand? 275 00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:03,940 - We also return the pasta with sardines? - Even the pasta... 276 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,690 Also! I've never eaten it. 277 00:25:08,410 --> 00:25:10,600 Open up, Pina. 278 00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:15,240 - Here we have to deal with fools. - Ugo, think again. 279 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,150 What do I have to rethink? 280 00:25:23,550 --> 00:25:26,530 From today those they will begin to understand... 281 00:25:26,660 --> 00:25:30,850 ...what it means to have to do with a real popular judge. 282 00:25:30,980 --> 00:25:32,960 Right, Pina? 283 00:25:33,090 --> 00:25:36,130 I'll show you! All down the stairs. 284 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,500 Thanks for preparing me the bathroom, Pina. 285 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:48,220 Watch out, Ugo, the swordfish! 286 00:25:48,990 --> 00:25:50,580 Pina! 287 00:25:51,220 --> 00:25:52,810 Pina! 288 00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:59,410 Pina, you could have told me! 289 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,760 My goodness, what a pain! 290 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,710 Hate! 291 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,030 My goodness, what a pain! 292 00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:26,240 - Fantozzo, we understand who didn't like our gifts. - Yes. 293 00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:29,960 - Maybe they were too mean. - She doesn't know me. 294 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:35,070 Judge Fantozzi is popular, but he's honest as a rock! 295 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,180 At home you will find an offer which he cannot refuse. 296 00:26:38,310 --> 00:26:42,010 Who can't refuse it? Pina! 297 00:26:44,260 --> 00:26:47,060 Where are the gifts? 298 00:26:47,980 --> 00:26:50,960 - Where are they? - Ugo, do you like it? 299 00:26:51,090 --> 00:26:53,890 Don't even try it! 300 00:26:54,010 --> 00:26:57,040 - Don't try it! - But, Ugo... 301 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,380 - At the stake!-No! - Stop it. 302 00:27:01,510 --> 00:27:02,830 No! 303 00:27:04,470 --> 00:27:09,010 That's it. This is how those fools learn. 304 00:27:09,980 --> 00:27:16,050 But it belonged to the lady next door, me he had given it to redo the collar. 305 00:27:16,170 --> 00:27:22,190 It was definitely a fur coat ecological that is worth two lire. 306 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,710 We'll pay them back. 307 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,630 It was a real jaguar. 308 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:31,030 - How much does it cost? - 20 million. 309 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:33,140 20 million! 310 00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:36,570 There's nothing left. 311 00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:41,000 All right, I'll pay you back with bills. 312 00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:47,720 But I still have satisfaction to demonstrate to those mafiosi... 313 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:52,620 ...that they don't buy me sending me gifts. 314 00:27:53,710 --> 00:27:56,700 Really something they sent it to you. 315 00:27:56,830 --> 00:27:59,980 - Another swordfish? - No. It's in the kitchen. 316 00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:03,700 Did they only send one? 317 00:28:03,820 --> 00:28:08,170 - Exactly, it's a small thing, at least accept this one. - No. 318 00:28:08,290 --> 00:28:12,880 Otherwise they will get offended. They call it "the slip". 319 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,910 - What do they call it? - "The slip". 320 00:28:20,870 --> 00:28:23,860 But I don't think so that they might suspect... 321 00:28:23,990 --> 00:28:27,970 ...that I let myself be convinced from a miserable Sicilian cannoli. 322 00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:31,090 Hand! What are you saying! 323 00:28:31,530 --> 00:28:35,410 - Shall we do it halfway? - No, you eat it, it cheers you up. 324 00:28:35,530 --> 00:28:38,320 Okay, I'll eat it. 325 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,240 Ouch! 326 00:28:59,250 --> 00:29:03,240 Here is the gift which cannot be refused. 327 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,910 Imbeciles! 328 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,790 I'll kill him! 329 00:29:11,510 --> 00:29:14,260 I'll kill him! 330 00:29:20,140 --> 00:29:21,610 I'll kill him! 331 00:29:25,570 --> 00:29:28,360 Leave me alone! Where? 332 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,750 - What are you looking for? - Go away! 333 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:34,950 No! 334 00:29:35,870 --> 00:29:37,860 I'll show you. 335 00:29:39,550 --> 00:29:41,540 Aaahh! 336 00:29:44,940 --> 00:29:47,530 Nothing happened. 337 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:52,640 - Give me that shattering thing. - I have the mortar. - Give it to me. 338 00:29:53,850 --> 00:29:56,870 Give me the mortar. I'll show you! 339 00:30:07,410 --> 00:30:09,280 Excuse me... 340 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,970 ...they gave that to him the gentlemen from before? 341 00:30:30,190 --> 00:30:34,340 The honored society was passing by ...from corruption attempts... 342 00:30:34,470 --> 00:30:36,760 ...to the next phase. 343 00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:40,000 Knowing that when he died Commissioner Cattani... 344 00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:43,670 ...Fantozzi mourned on the arm for four months... 345 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:49,820 ...they put the supreme one in his bed warning, a live sandpiper. 346 00:30:51,790 --> 00:30:53,660 Stop it. 347 00:30:54,910 --> 00:30:58,030 Come on, Pina, stop it! 348 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,650 But what's wrong with you? What do you want? 349 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,890 Pina, what do you have in mind? 350 00:31:09,770 --> 00:31:11,610 You're wet! 351 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,710 Pina, what a surprise! 352 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:25,220 Pina... 353 00:31:25,670 --> 00:31:27,580 Pina! 354 00:31:27,710 --> 00:31:31,340 But, sorry, you are here! 355 00:31:31,470 --> 00:31:36,100 Ugo, I'm on guard, I'm afraid someone will come in. 356 00:31:36,220 --> 00:31:39,610 But then who do I have with... 357 00:31:40,220 --> 00:31:42,810 Wait a minute. 358 00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,690 My God, Pina! 359 00:31:46,820 --> 00:31:48,810 Oh mama! 360 00:31:51,050 --> 00:31:53,440 Ah! Hate! 361 00:31:56,330 --> 00:31:59,520 What is happening to me? 362 00:32:00,050 --> 00:32:03,640 I'm becoming a "fishy" sex maniac! 363 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,960 I have to keep myself. 364 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:09,830 Fishy, ​​I'm fishy. But! 365 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,190 This crime it is not "amputable" to the defendants. 366 00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:18,150 It wasn't them, damn it! 367 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:20,990 Maybe it was suicide. 368 00:32:21,110 --> 00:32:26,100 Excuse me, suicide? They found it with his genitals in his mouth. 369 00:32:26,230 --> 00:32:29,260 Morbid contortionist suicide. 370 00:32:29,380 --> 00:32:33,060 Did you hear? Morbid contortionist suicide! 371 00:32:33,180 --> 00:32:37,170 I'm not afraid for myself, I'm afraid of cross-revenge. 372 00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:39,680 - Those like that. - Even so. 373 00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:42,800 If they hurt my wife, if they rape my daughter. 374 00:32:42,930 --> 00:32:46,050 So these are not limited to... 375 00:32:48,010 --> 00:32:51,400 - Last night I was raped. - Raped? 376 00:32:51,530 --> 00:32:54,520 Of course, on purpose I accepted this assignment. 377 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,950 Let them rape me even once, two, three times... 378 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:03,030 ...four times, five times, six times, seven times... 379 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:07,350 ...eight times, nine times, ten times... - Excuse me, ma'am. 380 00:33:07,470 --> 00:33:13,910 Have you ever thought about taking every now and then a little stop? 381 00:33:14,550 --> 00:33:17,540 I break, but I don't bend! 382 00:33:18,940 --> 00:33:22,540 She really loves transvestites... 383 00:33:28,260 --> 00:33:32,290 I present to you the new ones colleagues, I am upright. 384 00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:37,690 They take the place of the unfortunate one suicide and Dr. Gabardella... 385 00:33:37,810 --> 00:33:42,840 ...who inexplicably resigned because he blew up the car. 386 00:33:42,970 --> 00:33:47,350 - How inexplicably? - Inexplicably! 387 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,190 In the classroom! 388 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,110 I confess to you that I am terrified. 389 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,700 I'm afraid above all of transversal revenge. 390 00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:05,300 I'm scared for Ughina. I had thought to take into your home... 391 00:34:05,430 --> 00:34:09,020 ...one gorilla, two gorillas... But it's already there... 392 00:34:09,150 --> 00:34:11,940 Okay, let's leave it alone. 393 00:34:12,380 --> 00:34:14,420 What does this want? 394 00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:24,490 - Come, beautiful! - What is it? 395 00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:28,050 - What do you want to do? - Dad! - Walk! 396 00:34:30,210 --> 00:34:33,280 - Leave me! - Hold her still, I'll rape her. 397 00:34:33,410 --> 00:34:34,400 Aaahh! 398 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:41,470 - Rape her. - Leave me, you ugly pigs! 399 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,670 - Rape her. - Right away. 400 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:50,260 - Help, dad! - My mother! He cannot be raped. 401 00:34:50,390 --> 00:34:53,990 - What do we do now? - We have to rape someone. 402 00:34:54,110 --> 00:34:59,060 - We rape the father, she is better than her daughter. - You are right. 403 00:34:59,190 --> 00:35:01,460 Let's rape him. 404 00:35:01,590 --> 00:35:04,380 Mariangela returned home untouched. 405 00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:08,210 But Fantozzi bought himself a chastity belt. 406 00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:12,330 He obtained as an armed escort an elderly night watchman... 407 00:35:12,460 --> 00:35:17,240 ...and the Bianchina was armored, 6 tons of overload. 408 00:35:17,370 --> 00:35:22,680 Unfortunately he found a traffic jam nearby the catacombs of Cecilia Metella. 409 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,830 The day of the sentence came. 410 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,760 Guilty. 411 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,960 - Guilty. - Guilty. 412 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:41,870 For me, they are very innocent. 413 00:35:41,990 --> 00:35:45,590 But how? We also have the testimony of a repentant. 414 00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:50,740 The repentant will repent. I repeat, innocent. 415 00:35:52,310 --> 00:35:55,300 Even for me they are very innocent. 416 00:35:55,860 --> 00:36:01,140 - Immaculate as pigeons they are. - But which pigeons? They killed... 417 00:36:01,260 --> 00:36:04,250 He agrees too. Real? 418 00:36:05,940 --> 00:36:09,010 Sure, as you want. 419 00:36:09,530 --> 00:36:11,520 Innocents! 420 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:15,290 Did you hear? Four by three. 421 00:36:16,410 --> 00:36:20,080 No, four by four. To me, they are guilty. 422 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:25,150 Now let them rape me too, until the end of my days. 423 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,990 - She is the tip of the balance. - What is it? 424 00:36:35,710 --> 00:36:39,230 So, guilty or innocent? 425 00:36:39,710 --> 00:36:40,780 Who? 426 00:36:40,910 --> 00:36:43,100 Ah, those! 427 00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:46,820 So, they... 428 00:36:48,380 --> 00:36:50,580 They are innocent. 429 00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:56,650 Even for her they are innocent! So who killed those poor guys? 430 00:36:56,780 --> 00:36:59,810 Who planted the bomb? 431 00:36:59,930 --> 00:37:03,290 - It was... - Who? 432 00:37:03,410 --> 00:37:06,400 It was me, Mr. President! 433 00:37:06,530 --> 00:37:11,360 It was me. Call the stenographer, I'll confess everything. 434 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,080 I planted the bomb. 435 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,720 I am an ignoble man, I'm a coward, a poor thing! 436 00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:38,740 After six months of imprisonment Fantozzi was released. 437 00:37:38,860 --> 00:37:43,460 He had been recognized semi-mental infirmity. 438 00:37:48,260 --> 00:37:50,250 Hello, Ugo. 439 00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:55,200 Pina brought him immediately by the health insurance company's psychoanalyst. 440 00:37:57,530 --> 00:37:59,330 Ouch! 441 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,630 - Excuse me, where is the bathroom? - I don't know, I'm sorry. 442 00:38:31,790 --> 00:38:34,150 It's nothing. 443 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,690 What disease does he have? He is very pale. 444 00:38:53,430 --> 00:38:57,560 Excuse me, where is this psychoanalyst? 445 00:38:58,150 --> 00:38:59,930 Thank you. 446 00:39:00,260 --> 00:39:04,050 - Good morning, professor. - Good morning. 447 00:39:05,620 --> 00:39:08,610 So, let's see. Ah, very good! 448 00:39:08,730 --> 00:39:12,650 - Dear Mr. Fantocci, how are you? - Fantozzi. 449 00:39:12,770 --> 00:39:15,160 I get it, Puppets! 450 00:39:15,290 --> 00:39:18,280 - Come in. - Where? - On the bed. 451 00:39:18,410 --> 00:39:21,000 - Here? - Yes, have a seat. 452 00:39:21,130 --> 00:39:24,830 Dear Capocci, you'll see that everything will be better now. 453 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,160 Remain relaxed. 454 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,590 - Here I am. - What is it? 455 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:34,510 - Don't look at me. - Okay, then I'll look here. 456 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,950 Try to relax, come on. 457 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,940 Has he relaxed? 458 00:39:41,070 --> 00:39:45,460 - So, you are Mr Bagherozzi, right? - Fantozzi. 459 00:39:45,590 --> 00:39:48,580 - Years? - 52. - 62, perfect. 460 00:39:48,710 --> 00:39:53,300 Now tell me everything comes to mind, with complete freedom. 461 00:39:53,430 --> 00:39:56,420 - Act as if I weren't there, agree? - Yes. 462 00:39:56,550 --> 00:40:00,740 - You are practically alone. - Actually there is a continuous... 463 00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:04,700 - Don't worry, relax. - So, I... 464 00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:07,810 - Everything that comes to me in mind? - Yes, courage! 465 00:40:07,940 --> 00:40:10,250 - These are confidential things. - Say. 466 00:40:10,380 --> 00:40:13,490 He made him talk for three entire notebooks. 467 00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:17,730 Fantozzi talked about his things more intimate and secret... 468 00:40:17,850 --> 00:40:22,450 ...trusting the infamous one confidentiality of psychoanalysts. 469 00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:24,960 It can be raised again. 470 00:40:27,130 --> 00:40:30,720 - But everyone... - What is it? 471 00:40:31,490 --> 00:40:37,080 Look, doctor, after all that that I confessed to her... 472 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,990 ...it can be concluded that I am a... - What? 473 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,310 Bullshit. 474 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,630 - What did he say? - He said "shit". 475 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,750 She must never say again that word. 476 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:54,470 Sorry, it wasn't me, the others called me that. 477 00:40:54,590 --> 00:40:57,660 - You don't listen to them. - All right. 478 00:40:57,790 --> 00:41:03,390 So when I get out of here I'll send them all to hell. 479 00:41:03,510 --> 00:41:07,060 No, this is the last thing what she has to do. 480 00:41:07,180 --> 00:41:09,780 He must not seek revenge. 481 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:14,930 He has to be content with what he has and accept yourself for what you are. 482 00:41:15,060 --> 00:41:21,660 But I will never heal this way from my inferiority complex. 483 00:41:23,420 --> 00:41:28,010 - But she doesn't have any complex of inferiority. - Really? 484 00:41:28,130 --> 00:41:30,440 She is inferior! 485 00:41:31,210 --> 00:41:34,040 - Well done! - It is true! 486 00:41:40,450 --> 00:41:45,440 Fantozzi did not follow the mortifiers advice from the psychoanalyst. 487 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,550 If he had always lived like a rabbit... 488 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:54,470 ...there was certainly someone who he could teach you how to live like a lion. 489 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,630 Ouch! 490 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:02,350 - Who the fucking bastard is? - Look, Mr. Hooligan... 491 00:42:02,470 --> 00:42:08,700 ...I'm that accountant who has to get his diploma. 492 00:42:09,550 --> 00:42:11,060 Permit? 493 00:42:19,540 --> 00:42:23,170 - The money? - Yes, I brought them. 494 00:42:23,300 --> 00:42:27,660 (In English) - Pounds, of course. - Certain. - Put them on the table. 495 00:42:28,580 --> 00:42:31,570 It was a terrifying remnant of Italia '90. 496 00:42:31,700 --> 00:42:35,690 Rejected even by the motherland, he remained in Italy. 497 00:42:35,810 --> 00:42:41,810 He put his talent to good use holding courses on grit and violence. 498 00:42:42,690 --> 00:42:45,680 - Enough, I have nothing else. - How disgusting! 499 00:42:46,490 --> 00:42:48,880 - Who sucks? - You! 500 00:42:49,010 --> 00:42:51,840 I? Oh yeah, right. 501 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:55,960 Your dress sucks. Take off your accountant jacket! 502 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,670 - Wait... - Go! - He tore my sleeves. 503 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:04,910 - Away with the white collar the tie that hangs! - Wait. 504 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:09,470 - Naked you're even more disgusting. - It was a calibrated size. 505 00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:13,910 Ouch! 506 00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:17,500 What a horrible pain! 507 00:43:19,630 --> 00:43:22,510 Ok, the tattoo is finished. 508 00:43:22,630 --> 00:43:24,620 Come out. 509 00:43:25,660 --> 00:43:29,340 - Handsome! - It was a terrifying experience. 510 00:43:29,460 --> 00:43:33,170 But what is written? Nothing is understood. 511 00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:37,610 - Shut up! Now I'll explain to you, you alone have to understand. - All right. 512 00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,730 Every morning you look in the mirror and say... 513 00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:45,090 ..."I love Fantocci. I hate everyone else." 514 00:43:45,210 --> 00:43:49,410 Excuse me, Dr. Hooligan, I have an attack of fussiness. 515 00:43:49,530 --> 00:43:53,520 My name is not Fantocci, how she engraved... 516 00:43:53,650 --> 00:43:58,440 ...but it's Fantozzi. (In English) - Ok, just a minute. 517 00:43:58,570 --> 00:44:02,840 What's right is right, it's not for... 518 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,430 What does he do? 519 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,790 (In English) Are you ready? 520 00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:16,070 - What are you doing? - Gate. - No, it was a mistake! 521 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:21,390 - I love Fantocci, because I My name is Fantocci! - Now get dressed. 522 00:44:23,830 --> 00:44:28,430 Sorry, Mr. Hooligan, where is a cup, a toilet? 523 00:44:28,550 --> 00:44:32,740 - Shut up! - I have to do... I'm exploding. 524 00:44:32,870 --> 00:44:34,860 Shut up! 525 00:44:35,460 --> 00:44:37,260 Let's see. 526 00:44:37,860 --> 00:44:39,850 Excuse me for a moment. 527 00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:45,330 Where did you go? 528 00:44:45,460 --> 00:44:50,250 I'm here, I'm watching some practices in a drawer. 529 00:44:50,380 --> 00:44:52,970 I have to write a... 530 00:44:54,050 --> 00:44:55,850 Ouch! 531 00:44:57,250 --> 00:45:01,690 Wait a minute, I'll take out the stump. 532 00:45:04,330 --> 00:45:09,440 I told her I was already a little... Now I'm such a doll! 533 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,550 After you! 534 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:17,830 Let's see if the miserable remains are there. 535 00:45:32,270 --> 00:45:37,060 (In English) - Lesson number one. - I didn't understand what he said. 536 00:45:37,190 --> 00:45:43,380 - Now you go into the shop and steal a portable stereo. - All right. 537 00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:46,940 - Mine broke. - And you can't do without it? 538 00:45:47,060 --> 00:45:50,500 Are you afraid? Drink beer, it gives you energy. 539 00:45:50,620 --> 00:45:54,250 - I'll drink one too. - I drink beer. 540 00:46:00,060 --> 00:46:04,840 - What is it now? - Doctor Hooligan, I swallowed the tab. 541 00:46:04,970 --> 00:46:07,960 - Will it do me any good for the shot? - Come on, go! 542 00:46:08,090 --> 00:46:10,560 But yeah, who cares! 543 00:46:10,690 --> 00:46:15,480 With courage, Now let's go in, you and me... 544 00:46:15,610 --> 00:46:18,600 - No, you go, I'm here. - Are you staying here? 545 00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:21,190 I'm going alone, that's fine. 546 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:25,710 Can I make the sign of the cross? No, not even that! 547 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:31,760 I'm a bit clumsy, a novice total, Dr. Hooligan. 548 00:46:43,950 --> 00:46:48,540 Here's a total rip-off, they are all shocked. 549 00:46:48,670 --> 00:46:51,660 - Let's go. - You drive. 550 00:46:52,740 --> 00:46:58,820 But I have to tell you that they are little practical driving, engineer Hooligan. 551 00:46:58,940 --> 00:47:03,930 - I'll start the car and let's go. - You turned off the engine! 552 00:47:04,060 --> 00:47:06,860 Where you go? Stop! 553 00:47:06,980 --> 00:47:10,130 Forgot the warranty, the receipt and the rest. 554 00:47:10,250 --> 00:47:14,850 - Do you need an invoice? - You bought it! 555 00:47:14,970 --> 00:47:18,120 They made me an exceptional discount. 556 00:47:18,250 --> 00:47:24,120 - You bought it. - Yes, there are too two batteries as a gift. Goodbye. 557 00:47:24,250 --> 00:47:28,840 - Eat the batteries. - Actually, I'm not hungry right now. 558 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,950 - Do you want... - No! - I'll eat them. 559 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:42,030 The lessons of crimes against property, vandalism and violence... 560 00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,150 ...they took a whole week. 561 00:47:45,270 --> 00:47:49,110 - Today you're breaking the chandelier. - Who breaks it? - You. 562 00:47:49,230 --> 00:47:52,220 - But there's no reason. - Better! 563 00:47:52,350 --> 00:47:54,910 - For a perfect shot... - Yes? 564 00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:58,580 - Take this. - You keep it, I'm not capable. 565 00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:04,060 You learn, it's easy. Take this and load it with the steel ball. 566 00:48:04,180 --> 00:48:08,810 - Shall I eat it? - No, put it here. - It's a huge ball. 567 00:48:08,940 --> 00:48:12,490 - Take a breath and pull. - Shooting. 568 00:48:12,620 --> 00:48:15,530 Pull more, more! Spring! 569 00:48:19,410 --> 00:48:21,800 You suck! 570 00:48:22,410 --> 00:48:25,450 For the exercise of violence against unknown persons... 571 00:48:25,570 --> 00:48:28,560 ...he was inspired to the famous scene from a movie. 572 00:48:32,530 --> 00:48:34,440 Ouch! 573 00:48:34,570 --> 00:48:37,840 But the train wasn't leaving, was coming. 574 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:42,400 It stopped here! But now it's starting again, right? 575 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:44,870 What happens? 576 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,990 Wait a moment, there is a misunderstanding here. 577 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,790 One moment, I'll explain! 578 00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,710 Help, Mr. Hooligan! 579 00:49:07,270 --> 00:49:10,060 - Who is? - It's me. 580 00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:14,290 Ugo! What happened to you? 581 00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:18,690 A series of mix-ups. 582 00:49:18,820 --> 00:49:23,810 - Come, I'll make you some compresses boric acid. - No, don't do anything to me. 583 00:49:23,940 --> 00:49:26,930 I have an exam tomorrow, I have to study. 584 00:49:27,060 --> 00:49:29,200 Ouch! 585 00:49:29,330 --> 00:49:33,120 I have to start studying right away. 586 00:49:34,170 --> 00:49:36,240 So... 587 00:49:37,730 --> 00:49:40,610 I'm screwed, I can't do it. 588 00:49:40,730 --> 00:49:43,960 That fails me, he won't give me the diploma. 589 00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:50,950 - What does this exam consist of? - Eh! I have to mug an old lady. 590 00:49:53,240 --> 00:49:57,030 - How old? - An old woman! 591 00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,630 Can you see me snatching an old woman? 592 00:50:02,670 --> 00:50:06,300 Yes, if I'm the old one. 593 00:50:07,270 --> 00:50:10,870 I wear makeup, walk with a cane... 594 00:50:12,230 --> 00:50:15,820 Pina, really would you do all this for me? 595 00:50:15,950 --> 00:50:20,260 Yes, if it's important to you, Ugo. 596 00:50:21,980 --> 00:50:27,370 - It's vitally important. - At that time don't worry, I'll help you. 597 00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:31,790 They made detailed arrangements about the time and place. 598 00:50:42,780 --> 00:50:46,600 - What is it? - Come on, steal this. 599 00:50:46,730 --> 00:50:50,900 - No, wait a minute. - What are you waiting for? - This is not Pin... 600 00:50:51,030 --> 00:50:54,850 I mean, she doesn't have a cent, you can see. 601 00:50:56,510 --> 00:50:57,910 Here it is. 602 00:50:58,910 --> 00:51:01,700 - Here it is. - Go! 603 00:51:07,340 --> 00:51:10,810 Ugo, I'm here! 604 00:51:11,220 --> 00:51:13,210 To graduate with full marks... 605 00:51:13,340 --> 00:51:18,200 ...Fantozzi had had it filled Pina's bag with their savings. 606 00:51:18,330 --> 00:51:22,160 - Please, let go, Pina! - But it's her, Puppets! 607 00:51:22,290 --> 00:51:25,280 For a tragic joke of destiny... 608 00:51:25,410 --> 00:51:29,400 ...Fantozzi had stolen the depraved duke count Barambani... 609 00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:34,520 ...dressed as an old woman to threaten the students of the Swiss school. 610 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:40,430 He was exhumed and brought to the front to the Council of Ten Absents. 611 00:52:21,570 --> 00:52:25,160 Get up, Fantozzi, that's not his place. 612 00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,870 No? 613 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,470 She's not mad at me for what happened? 614 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,510 No, on the contrary. Congratulations, Puppets! 615 00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,870 - Sit there. - There? 616 00:52:37,990 --> 00:52:42,140 She showed determination that we didn't suspect. 617 00:52:42,750 --> 00:52:46,060 The Council apologizes for the error of evaluation. 618 00:52:46,190 --> 00:52:50,180 All these years we were unable to valorise it. 619 00:52:50,300 --> 00:52:53,290 But we still have time to fix it. 620 00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:59,330 We officially offer you a place of power and responsibility... 621 00:52:59,460 --> 00:53:02,450 ...with unlimited career possibilities. 622 00:53:02,580 --> 00:53:08,330 For now, since you entered in the elite of us privileged people... 623 00:53:08,450 --> 00:53:12,160 ...I offer you the honor card of the Polo Club. 624 00:53:12,290 --> 00:53:16,280 - The Polo Club? - The first invitation is for Thursday. 625 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:20,280 They invited me to polo! 626 00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:25,870 Fantozzi, unfortunately, he understood Arctic Circle 627 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,990 He introduced himself on a dog sled... 628 00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:32,900 ...with six months' supplies and red curtain. 629 00:53:38,790 --> 00:53:43,220 - He also has a sense of humor! - Who? - Her. 630 00:53:43,340 --> 00:53:45,140 Why? 631 00:53:45,740 --> 00:53:50,340 He said "polo" to me and I didn't know whether it was the north pole or the south pole. 632 00:53:50,460 --> 00:53:52,450 She will reach the top! 633 00:53:52,580 --> 00:53:55,010 Fantozzi's career... 634 00:53:55,140 --> 00:53:58,650 ...first shot: Director Lup. Man. Figl. Of Put... 635 00:53:58,770 --> 00:54:00,760 ...with secretary in a miniskirt... 636 00:54:00,890 --> 00:54:06,090 ...leather signature folder of veal and car with driver. 637 00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,510 Second shot: Director Dr. Eng... 638 00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,990 ...Great. Thief. of Gran. Croc. Piece of Merd. 639 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:26,420 Two secretaries in bodysuits, four cell phones... 640 00:54:26,550 --> 00:54:30,140 ...signature folders in cobra skin. 641 00:54:37,260 --> 00:54:41,460 And sumptuous limousine with a homosexual driver. 642 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,830 Third shot by Fantozzi... 643 00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:13,080 ...Great. Farabutt. Thief. Matriculation Paracul. 644 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,790 Four topless secretaries... 645 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:20,910 ...and folders for signatures in non-EU human skin. 646 00:55:30,660 --> 00:55:35,210 Personal helicopter and three bag holders. 647 00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:02,870 But when he got a chariot to two white teams, lackeys... 648 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,990 ...and the law to temporal power... 649 00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:10,350 ...Fantozzi found himself in front to a disturbing new qualification. 650 00:56:10,470 --> 00:56:13,750 Natural. Prestanom. Om. by Pagl... 651 00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:16,460 ...Great. Test. of Caz. 652 00:56:28,620 --> 00:56:31,210 Sorry, but what... 653 00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:40,810 Sorry, what are you doing here at my desk? 654 00:56:40,930 --> 00:56:43,730 - Who are you? - I'm Fantozzi. 655 00:56:43,850 --> 00:56:46,240 - Ah, PUPPETS! - No, Fantozzi. 656 00:56:46,370 --> 00:56:49,960 - Well. Is this your signature? - Yes. 657 00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,880 - COME. - Where? 658 00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:56,240 - This? - It's mine. 659 00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:59,550 - This other one? - It's mine. Also this one and this one here. 660 00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:01,590 Come. 661 00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:07,550 - This? - It's mine. 662 00:57:07,830 --> 00:57:10,220 - This other one? - It's mine. 663 00:57:10,350 --> 00:57:14,340 - So you are responsible for everything. - I signed everything here. 664 00:57:14,470 --> 00:57:16,540 Here, here... 665 00:57:16,660 --> 00:57:19,650 - Then come with us. - But what is it? 666 00:57:20,820 --> 00:57:25,810 - What am I accused of? - Fraudulent bankruptcy. 667 00:57:30,850 --> 00:57:34,290 This time he got it total mental infirmity. 668 00:57:34,410 --> 00:57:37,400 Also because the Defense College... 669 00:57:37,530 --> 00:57:43,120 ...to influence the jury he used a memoir written by his wife. 670 00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,230 A skilled editor transformed the memorial... 671 00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,350 ...in the best seller of the literary season... 672 00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:54,680 ...given the interest in the topic especially the female audience. 673 00:57:59,630 --> 00:58:04,420 - Can I ask you some questions for the newspaper "Salotti Salotti"? - Ugo. 674 00:58:04,550 --> 00:58:07,190 Stop in front of the gate of the prison. 675 00:58:07,310 --> 00:58:10,060 - Madam, hug the loser. - You kiss him. 676 00:58:10,940 --> 00:58:13,410 Show the book. 677 00:58:13,540 --> 00:58:16,450 Failed, look here. 678 00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:20,210 - Give the book to him. - You show it well. 679 00:58:20,340 --> 00:58:22,370 Stop! 680 00:58:22,820 --> 00:58:24,090 Stop! 681 00:58:24,210 --> 00:58:27,650 Why is he smiling? Make us look like a failure. 682 00:58:34,330 --> 00:58:38,560 I didn't choose the title, the publisher decided it. 683 00:58:59,670 --> 00:59:05,980 Pina, you told everyone too of my escapade with the octopus! 684 00:59:07,380 --> 00:59:10,370 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Ugo. 685 00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:16,170 You didn't want to hurt me, but you spoke of me as a sexual maniac... 686 00:59:16,300 --> 00:59:23,050 ...like someone who goes with octopuses! - I wanted to demonstrate your naivety. 687 00:59:23,170 --> 00:59:28,160 This way you don't prove mine naivety, but your indifference! 688 00:59:28,290 --> 00:59:31,880 In this episode you don't give a damn about me! 689 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,640 You're not jealous at all! 690 00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,230 Not an octopus. 691 00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:41,790 But who the hell was I supposed to go with? to make you jealous? 692 00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:44,910 With a Hungarian draft horse? 693 00:59:45,030 --> 00:59:48,630 Maybe that could have been a little... 694 00:59:50,190 --> 00:59:53,180 Now sleep, turn off the light and calm down. 695 00:59:53,310 --> 00:59:57,500 No, I don't sleep! You go to sleep, I can't do it! 696 00:59:58,060 --> 01:00:00,050 Come on, sleep! 697 01:00:02,060 --> 01:00:06,450 Now everyone is looking at me like that of the octopus. 698 01:00:07,900 --> 01:00:12,600 TV: "How to Live with a Loser and Being Happy, a nice title." 699 01:00:12,730 --> 01:00:16,120 - Fantastic! - "But how did your husband take it?" 700 01:00:16,250 --> 01:00:21,160 "He took it well. My husband It will also have many flaws..." 701 01:00:21,290 --> 01:00:26,990 "..But he is a man of great spirit." - "Then why didn't he come?" 702 01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:33,390 - "Because he doesn't know how to speak public." - He's an asshole, say it! 703 01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,830 - "He is a very modest man." - "In short, a mediocre man." 704 01:00:37,950 --> 01:00:41,150 - "I never said that." - "But he wrote it." 705 01:00:41,270 --> 01:00:47,500 - "Madam, actually, the success of this beautiful book..." - It's shit! 706 01:00:47,630 --> 01:00:52,020 "...is directly proportional to your husband's failures?" 707 01:00:52,140 --> 01:00:56,260 "Madam, despite what you have written, tell me honestly..." 708 01:00:56,380 --> 01:00:59,570 "...she's still in love of your husband?" 709 01:01:00,820 --> 01:01:03,610 "I respect him very much." 710 01:01:03,730 --> 01:01:09,250 "Mrs Fantozzi, he is not afraid that this will happen..." 711 01:01:09,370 --> 01:01:13,680 "...may have repercussions negative about your marriage?" 712 01:01:13,810 --> 01:01:18,800 - No, absolutely! - "Indeed, everything will be clearer and easier." 713 01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:20,670 Very easy! 714 01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:29,270 It is my duty to invite you to one last reflection before this step. 715 01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:34,470 - You have been married for 35 years. - 37, Mr. Judge. - Too many! 716 01:01:34,590 --> 01:01:40,110 Isn't there something that still binds you? Physical attraction? 717 01:01:40,630 --> 01:01:42,030 Affection? 718 01:01:42,150 --> 01:01:47,220 Your beautiful daughter and granddaughter They seem painful to me, look at them. 719 01:01:47,340 --> 01:01:51,810 Think again, Dad. Do it for me, for us! 720 01:01:51,940 --> 01:01:55,530 - Grandpa... - Leave it alone, darling. 721 01:01:55,660 --> 01:01:59,090 Mr. Judge, it is now decided. 722 01:01:59,210 --> 01:02:03,730 Maybe my husband is right, I wasn't the ideal partner. 723 01:02:03,850 --> 01:02:10,600 You can see I didn't help him, I didn't push him enough. 724 01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:14,190 It stopped me from living, it clipped my wings... 725 01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:17,310 ...and lately he also covered me with ridicule. 726 01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:23,510 - Maybe he has the right to make a new life. - All right. 727 01:02:24,590 --> 01:02:26,580 Sign here. 728 01:02:32,030 --> 01:02:35,020 I can still sign "Pina Fantozzi"? 729 01:02:41,700 --> 01:02:44,900 As a first step on the road to new life... 730 01:02:45,020 --> 01:02:49,610 ...Fantozzi didn't find anything better than resurrecting an ancient feeling. 731 01:02:49,740 --> 01:02:52,730 He asked for help to an old friend and colleague... 732 01:02:52,850 --> 01:02:55,840 ...the nefarious organizer surveyor Filini. 733 01:02:55,970 --> 01:02:57,960 She's back! 734 01:02:58,970 --> 01:03:02,600 Fantozzi, don't be shy, come out. 735 01:03:03,210 --> 01:03:07,400 - What are you doing over there, accountant? - She gave me a "drummer". 736 01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:11,910 Come up. Fantozzi, but he is convinced what he's doing? 737 01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:15,820 He just got rid of a woman and ends up with someone else? 738 01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:20,660 - Sorry, but it's not "another", It's Miss Silvani. - Well? 739 01:03:20,790 --> 01:03:24,020 Don't you remember? She is the legendary "Miss Quarto Piano". 740 01:03:24,150 --> 01:03:28,140 - Fantozzi, don't talk nonsense. Do I call them? - All right. 741 01:03:29,030 --> 01:03:30,620 Come! 742 01:03:35,300 --> 01:03:40,290 - Fantozzi, what are you doing down there? - She gave me another... 743 01:03:40,420 --> 01:03:44,410 What's down there? They're coming, come. 744 01:03:47,890 --> 01:03:50,640 What romantic music! 745 01:03:51,530 --> 01:03:54,560 My old girlfriend... 746 01:03:54,690 --> 01:03:57,200 Excuse me for a moment. 747 01:03:57,320 --> 01:04:01,790 - What is it? - They said "old girlfriend" and the lady is a bit... 748 01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:07,520 - Don't like this song? - It's offensive. - Well, I'll take care of it. 749 01:04:10,990 --> 01:04:14,590 Oh, my little brunette... 750 01:04:14,710 --> 01:04:17,940 ...where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? 751 01:04:18,070 --> 01:04:23,060 Oh, my little brunette, you will die under the... 752 01:04:23,900 --> 01:04:26,290 - Sorry, Filini. - Phantoms! 753 01:04:26,420 --> 01:04:30,620 Not only does he wish her to die, but it also specifies the type of death. 754 01:04:30,740 --> 01:04:34,130 If you don't like this either, we have another one. 755 01:04:34,260 --> 01:04:36,250 They sing another one. 756 01:04:36,380 --> 01:04:39,680 He had a glass eye... - But fuck you! 757 01:04:40,490 --> 01:04:45,110 Did you hear what he said? It made me a very explicit invitation. 758 01:04:52,610 --> 01:04:57,390 - Do you want something cheerful? To dance? - Yes. 759 01:05:02,430 --> 01:05:05,340 Come on, dance! 760 01:05:08,700 --> 01:05:11,290 His father is hunchbacked, his mother is hunchbacked... 761 01:05:11,420 --> 01:05:14,800 ...humps the sister's daughter, that was humped too... 762 01:05:14,930 --> 01:05:19,000 Filini, make them shut up, she gets angry. 763 01:05:19,130 --> 01:05:22,110 Fantozzino, is it you? Get in. 764 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,590 - I? - And what about me? Get in! 765 01:05:28,670 --> 01:05:33,660 Miss Silvani had been around for a while prey to suicidal temptations. 766 01:05:33,780 --> 01:05:36,970 After the tenth injunction of executive eviction... 767 01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:40,080 ...the only tragic alternative to the slipknot... 768 01:05:40,210 --> 01:05:44,600 ...it was hospitalization in the Institute Human Wrecks of Santa Moribonda. 769 01:05:44,730 --> 01:05:48,510 But he saw in Fantozzi an unexpected lifeline... 770 01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:53,150 ...and decided to attack him like a mussel on the rock. 771 01:05:55,390 --> 01:05:56,790 Where is he? 772 01:06:01,660 --> 01:06:03,650 It's me. 773 01:06:16,950 --> 01:06:19,340 Fantozzino, it's her! 774 01:06:22,110 --> 01:06:25,140 Miss, how beautiful you are! 775 01:06:25,980 --> 01:06:27,780 Thank you. 776 01:06:28,900 --> 01:06:31,770 Why does he say "thank you" to me? 777 01:06:31,890 --> 01:06:34,690 For the beautiful serenade. 778 01:06:35,010 --> 01:06:38,470 He doesn't take the piss out of me... 779 01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:43,350 I mean, I meant, Aren't you kidding me? 780 01:06:43,470 --> 01:06:49,700 I? I found it a serenade curious, strange, particular. 781 01:06:50,180 --> 01:06:52,380 I understand it. 782 01:06:52,500 --> 01:06:57,930 They gave me one the other week a sweet, Spanish one. 783 01:06:58,050 --> 01:07:02,440 - Two balls! - Like two... - Yes, two balls! 784 01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:07,230 - Please have a seat. - Here? - Yes. 785 01:07:08,950 --> 01:07:11,150 Do you drink something? 786 01:07:14,380 --> 01:07:18,050 - Do you call me first name? - Love, it's subjunctive! 787 01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:22,370 Miss, she never knew, but I... 788 01:07:23,130 --> 01:07:26,720 ...I have never forgotten her. - No? 789 01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:31,910 In fact, I want to give you some news... 790 01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:36,020 ...which, perhaps only for me, it is vitally important. 791 01:07:36,150 --> 01:07:39,340 It's something that has changed my life completely. 792 01:07:39,470 --> 01:07:43,660 - From now on I am a man free. - Is the scorpion fish dead? 793 01:07:43,780 --> 01:07:46,210 - How? - Did your wife die? 794 01:07:46,330 --> 01:07:49,610 No, my lady is very much alive. 795 01:07:49,730 --> 01:07:54,320 I'm in the process of getting a divorce. 796 01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:59,630 - I'm here to take a survey. - Interesting! 797 01:07:59,750 --> 01:08:04,060 In short, miss, are you free? 798 01:08:06,180 --> 01:08:09,170 Freer than that! 799 01:08:09,300 --> 01:08:13,680 Well, free! Free, free, free it's not possible. 800 01:08:14,290 --> 01:08:17,480 A woman like me... 801 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:22,270 ...is never free! 802 01:08:28,270 --> 01:08:30,060 Excuse me. 803 01:08:30,940 --> 01:08:35,140 Wait, sit down, sit better, I'll take them off... 804 01:08:35,260 --> 01:08:40,960 - What is it? - Uh, the leash of my little dog! 805 01:08:41,090 --> 01:08:46,080 - She's still the same Filipina! - Why don't you send her away? 806 01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:49,000 It's so messy! 807 01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:54,870 I told you, Fantozzi, that I have half a commitment. 808 01:08:55,470 --> 01:08:59,660 - Only half? - Yes, with a gentleman. 809 01:08:59,780 --> 01:09:04,400 He offered me everything, just everything... 810 01:09:04,530 --> 01:09:10,760 ...starting with a wonderful one villa in the countryside. - She's lucky. 811 01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:15,660 Where would we go to live, Fantozzi? 812 01:09:16,750 --> 01:09:20,740 Well, now I, just for a little while... 813 01:09:20,870 --> 01:09:26,610 I mean, we would all move in by the surveyor Filini. 814 01:09:26,740 --> 01:09:29,960 You know him, don't you? The nice one with the glasses. 815 01:09:30,090 --> 01:09:32,280 What? 816 01:09:32,410 --> 01:09:36,600 But then why are you bothering me? with these shitty serenades? 817 01:09:36,720 --> 01:09:40,710 I should come and live with you and that blind man Filini? 818 01:09:40,830 --> 01:09:44,060 Go fuck yourself! 819 01:09:44,190 --> 01:09:47,700 Miss, I'll have it too... 820 01:09:48,620 --> 01:09:51,610 I'm also buying a villa in the countryside. 821 01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:56,250 The implacable surveyor Filini took matters into his own hands... 822 01:09:56,370 --> 01:10:00,360 ...and provided it to Fantozzi a colossal real estate deal. 823 01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:03,680 - Where is this pleasant place? - This is it. 824 01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:06,790 - This? - It's very nice, very panoramic. 825 01:10:06,910 --> 01:10:10,500 - Don't you think, Fantozzi? - Well... - And the characteristic villa? 826 01:10:10,630 --> 01:10:13,770 We're almost there. Fantozzi, take that road. 827 01:10:13,900 --> 01:10:17,490 That was the only area who had resisted... 828 01:10:17,620 --> 01:10:22,480 ...with every cleanup attempt of the popes and Benito Mussolini. 829 01:10:22,610 --> 01:10:26,560 - What's happening? - It seems to me that... - We're sinking! 830 01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:33,950 - It's an impression, don't worry. - How can I stay calm? 831 01:10:34,070 --> 01:10:37,300 Stay calm, nothing happens. 832 01:10:38,020 --> 01:10:39,820 Help! 833 01:10:40,460 --> 01:10:42,450 Let them come! 834 01:10:43,060 --> 01:10:48,840 We have reached the shore, just watch out for the leeches. 835 01:10:49,410 --> 01:10:53,440 - Here we are, this is your home. - What? 836 01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:56,550 - But it's a church! - Yes, but deconsecrated. 837 01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:59,660 Previously they came there on pilgrimage. 838 01:10:59,790 --> 01:11:04,780 It was dedicated to Saint Chrysostom of the Pantano. They renovated it... 839 01:11:04,900 --> 01:11:07,890 ...and it became home for civilian use. 840 01:11:08,020 --> 01:11:13,080 - That's why he made a deal. - I would like to withdraw from the deal. 841 01:11:13,210 --> 01:11:16,200 You can't, I've already given the deposit in his name. 842 01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:20,550 You step back, look at her. Look how beautiful she is. 843 01:11:20,680 --> 01:11:23,870 You will call it "Il Conventino". 844 01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:36,490 - Fantozzi, what are you doing? - I heard a creak. 845 01:11:36,610 --> 01:11:39,000 Move, forward! 846 01:11:39,450 --> 01:11:41,830 Open the door, blind man! 847 01:11:41,960 --> 01:11:43,950 1, 2, 3, 4... 848 01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:47,030 1, 6... 849 01:11:50,550 --> 01:11:54,540 Filini, I understand that this is a business... 850 01:11:54,660 --> 01:11:58,650 ...but I prefer to lose the deposit. - What do you lose? 851 01:11:58,780 --> 01:12:03,770 I left my house because you said to have a characteristic villa. 852 01:12:03,890 --> 01:12:06,480 Now we have it! 853 01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:14,950 Miss, don't do this to us. I'll put everything back. 854 01:12:15,070 --> 01:12:19,980 - I'll take her to her house now. - But where are you taking me? 855 01:12:20,100 --> 01:12:22,090 Where am I going? 856 01:12:22,420 --> 01:12:27,410 - Where am I going? - Filini, the house she is beautiful, but the young lady doesn't like her. 857 01:12:27,530 --> 01:12:32,520 - I'll take her home. - Ah, there's the bell! Gracious! 858 01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:37,750 We could use it instead of the very banal electric bell. 859 01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:42,470 Yes, miss, it was just rebuilt... 860 01:12:42,590 --> 01:12:45,970 Sure. The visitor arrives and pull the rope. 861 01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:49,490 - Try it, Fantozzi. - I? - Yes, pull the rope. 862 01:12:49,620 --> 01:12:53,400 Have mercy, I am not a "bell ringer". 863 01:12:53,530 --> 01:12:56,520 Now I pull the rope and... 864 01:12:56,650 --> 01:12:59,630 - See? It doesn't ring. - Try with two hands. 865 01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:01,110 Pull! 866 01:13:07,910 --> 01:13:13,290 Of course it didn't ring, there was no clapper. You'll hear how it sounds now! 867 01:13:18,770 --> 01:13:23,470 Filini, excuse me, where is the little place? 868 01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:26,800 - What little place? - I have to do a little business. 869 01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:30,910 - What need? - Where is the toilet? -Ah! It's there. 870 01:13:31,030 --> 01:13:36,620 - In the bell tower? - Yes, do it in church would have been disrespectful. 871 01:13:37,260 --> 01:13:38,850 Fantozzi. 872 01:13:41,100 --> 01:13:43,080 How cute! 873 01:13:44,130 --> 01:13:48,910 - That clapper dazed me. - I said to "stay alert"! 874 01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:53,430 - Where is Miss Silvani? - She went to do a little business. 875 01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:57,620 - Meaning what? - She went to a little place. - Where? - There. 876 01:14:09,020 --> 01:14:13,390 Enough, I'm pissed off! I'm leaving! 877 01:14:13,520 --> 01:14:16,380 - Just now that everything is in order? - But look! 878 01:14:16,490 --> 01:14:19,930 The bell tower is no longer there, so it's a real house. 879 01:14:20,070 --> 01:14:24,160 Miss, seen that the structure has changed... 880 01:14:24,300 --> 01:14:27,140 ...that is, the external appearance it's changed a bit... 881 01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:31,540 ...I would no longer call it Il Conventino, but I would christen it in his honor... 882 01:14:31,660 --> 01:14:34,640 ...Villa Silvana. 883 01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:38,580 Did you understand the pun? Silvani-Silvana! 884 01:14:38,710 --> 01:14:41,930 - In my honor? - Yes. 885 01:14:42,060 --> 01:14:46,370 Do you see, miss? It's a sign of destiny. 886 01:14:46,500 --> 01:14:48,480 Come on, lovebirds! 887 01:14:48,610 --> 01:14:53,000 Miss, you understand Who would the lovebirds be? 888 01:14:55,560 --> 01:14:58,510 Come on, come on, come on. 889 01:14:59,590 --> 01:15:02,860 - Pray. - Come on, miss. 890 01:15:03,540 --> 01:15:05,530 Here you go. You pray. 891 01:15:05,660 --> 01:15:11,440 - Fantozzi, he won't pick me up like a bride? - Yes, you take it. 892 01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,910 I don't remember how to do it anymore. Ah, yes! 893 01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:21,980 Go, accountant. 894 01:15:23,870 --> 01:15:27,860 - What the fuck! Are you tough? - What does he say? She is not Italian. 895 01:15:29,180 --> 01:15:32,010 Easy, Fantozzi. 896 01:15:45,350 --> 01:15:49,340 Then Fantozzi decided to look for a new partner... 897 01:15:49,460 --> 01:15:53,450 ...appealing to the most modern technologies. 898 01:15:53,930 --> 01:15:59,240 I'm ready. I have the tongue a little sweaty with emotion. 899 01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:04,350 I would like one that was a model more recent than my wife. 900 01:16:04,480 --> 01:16:08,140 A little like this... And very young too. 901 01:16:08,270 --> 01:16:11,650 The brainiac he will choose his soul mate... 902 01:16:11,780 --> 01:16:15,770 ...after you respond to the questionnaire. - Is this a quiz? 903 01:16:15,890 --> 01:16:19,360 - Zodiac sign? - I'm a mouse. 904 01:16:22,440 --> 01:16:25,430 - Favorite singer? - She's a singer. 905 01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:30,620 Orietta Berti, her song più bella è "Finché la Barca Va". 906 01:16:30,750 --> 01:16:34,340 Per fornire al cervellone gli impulsi necessari... 907 01:16:34,460 --> 01:16:37,290 ...a una valutazione del soggetto... 908 01:16:37,420 --> 01:16:42,000 ...Fantozzi fu sottoposto a un questionario di 1.800 domande. 909 01:16:42,130 --> 01:16:46,590 Poi si passò al rilevamento dei dati somatico-biologici. 910 01:16:46,720 --> 01:16:48,710 Detect: 1. 911 01:16:50,670 --> 01:16:52,660 Detect: 3. 912 01:16:55,300 --> 01:16:59,010 - Detects: 20. - 20? 913 01:17:04,690 --> 01:17:07,720 - It doesn't matter here. - Doesn't it detect? 914 01:17:07,840 --> 01:17:10,640 We exalt the area. 915 01:17:15,150 --> 01:17:18,660 - What is it? - Let's exalt again. 916 01:17:26,650 --> 01:17:31,870 Sorry, though qualcosa si intravede, no? 917 01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:33,990 Get out. 918 01:17:35,590 --> 01:17:40,580 Keep in touch. As soon as we find it the other half of his apple... 919 01:17:40,700 --> 01:17:44,850 - Which apple? - Yes, his ideal woman. 920 01:17:44,970 --> 01:17:48,010 We will provide you with all the details of the meeting. 921 01:17:48,130 --> 01:17:53,120 For 15 days Fantozzi tortured himself call the marriage agency. 922 01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:57,750 Until, finally, the big brain found his soul mate. 923 01:17:57,870 --> 01:18:00,670 Meeting at the Orange Garden. 924 01:18:00,790 --> 01:18:05,570 Lady's pseudonym: "Shy Hope", his: "Rambo-39". 925 01:18:05,700 --> 01:18:11,070 Sign of recognition a red carnation in his buttonhole. 926 01:18:25,170 --> 01:18:28,150 But the big brain he hadn't calculated... 927 01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:32,250 ...that on the same day, at the same time now, in the same place... 928 01:18:32,380 --> 01:18:36,750 ...the Conference was scheduled National Socialist Women. 929 01:18:36,880 --> 01:18:39,860 He was already about to give up when... 930 01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:47,380 - Rambo-39? - Yes! 931 01:18:47,670 --> 01:18:51,480 Pina, but it's you! 932 01:18:51,610 --> 01:18:54,980 - Are you Rambo-39? - And you are Timida Speranza. 933 01:18:56,550 --> 01:19:01,520 Yes, Ugo. I wanted to get one again too life, Mariangela insisted a lot. 934 01:19:01,640 --> 01:19:07,450 So, electronically speaking, you are the other half of my apple. 935 01:19:07,570 --> 01:19:10,150 And you about mine. 936 01:19:11,910 --> 01:19:14,890 - How much did they take from you? - One million. 937 01:19:15,420 --> 01:19:19,440 A million for me too. Two million for an apple, thieves! 938 01:19:20,430 --> 01:19:27,030 Ugo, if you don't trust the big brain and you want to look for something better... 939 01:19:27,160 --> 01:19:30,930 ...I'm backing away. - But no, Pina. What do you say? 940 01:19:31,060 --> 01:19:34,040 The big brain can do no wrong. 941 01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:38,300 It's just that there's no hope for me. No! 942 01:19:38,430 --> 01:19:41,290 I meant that I I can't find anything better. 943 01:19:41,410 --> 01:19:43,870 That is, that you... 944 01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:49,410 One moment. It's that you're the only one, the best, for me. 945 01:19:49,890 --> 01:19:54,310 Are you sure, Ugo? You were always unhappy with me. 946 01:19:54,430 --> 01:19:57,690 But no, Pina. I was unhappy with myself. 947 01:19:58,210 --> 01:20:01,190 But if you accept me, I accept myself. 948 01:20:01,320 --> 01:20:04,900 - Well. So shall we go home? - Let's go. 949 01:20:05,420 --> 01:20:09,470 Pina, I want to ask you one last thing. 950 01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:13,130 What do you feel about me? 951 01:20:13,540 --> 01:20:16,330 I respect you very much. 952 01:20:17,040 --> 01:20:19,910 I mean, love...? All right.